I spent the majority
of the weekend thinking about this ridiculousness and I’ve been intending to
write this post, once I had a full-fledged thought process. This post will be a
reflection on recent events, and a general insight on how I think about things.
This writing might be all over the place, because that’s just how my thought
process works, but I’ll do my best to explain my thoughts in a logical order.
The Free Victory
I’m beginning with
this subject because it sprouted this entire post. As I mentioned in my
previous post, I gave one of my friends the victory because he wanted to try
and get an invite. This is the question I still ask myself about this: Why did
I do it?
I immediately kicked
myself after I made this decision. I spent about 3 minutes sitting at the table
weighing the pros and the cons of doing this, before making the decision. Here
is the list of Pros:
-
It makes
me look like a nice person.
-
I’m giving
him a chance to retry.
Those are the
positives. There aren’t very many positives… Here are the negatives:
-
Only some
X-2s were making it, but only a few. By sacrificing my victory, I had to win
Round 6 and hope to be lucky with pairings.
-
Additional
stress added to my day.
-
I spent a
lot of time working for this event. Essentially, my preparation could’ve been
all in vain.
-
I couldn’t
say with 100% certainty he would win the next two rounds required for the
invite.
The Competitive Outlook
My goal of the event was to win the OTS, and that’s it. 1st
place got the mat, and the brownie points of the event, and that’s all I
wanted. Knowing this, why did I give away a victory that was crucial to my
success in the event? It completely contradicts my views on the competitive
atmosphere of the game.
All throughout my
life, I’ve been a competitive person. In school, I always make sure I have the
highest grades. At work, I ensure people understand who I am, and I make sure I
can meet the criteria of the position (even though it’s semi—luck based). In
card games, I want to be the very best, that no one ever was.
I’ve planted my roots
in a few competitive card games over the last few years. Vanguard and MTG were
the least fruitful. Regarding MTG, I was looking to slowly increase my skills
by building a stronger and stronger deck, then testing it at the Friday Night
Magic’s, and I wanted to eventually enter higher tier events. I was seeing the
progress and was getting better, until my deck got stolen by someone in the
community. That put my MTG career on hold (for now, since I intend on coming
back soon). Regarding Vanguard, our community was too small to do anything.
Sure, we could travel to other Locals, but that would be inconvenient. As well,
the number of competitive events Bushiroad hold in Canada is depressing. There
was no point continuing.
Pokemon allowed me to
go a little further. I went to one event (don’t remember exactly what it was)
and I played 6 or 7 rounds and went undefeated and came in 1st
place. However, the community is really small, like Vanguard, so it got boring…
If I were to pick a 3rd game to possibly invest in, it would be
Pokemon. Unlike Vanguard, Pokemon requires more complex thinking, and it’s
similar to MTG. There are also a lot more competitive Pokemon events than
Vanguard, and I’d have no problem spending $300 to build an amazing deck to
take to a few events. Eventually, I’ll have to do that on MTG…
Now, I’ll come full
circle with my point. When doing anything in life, I fight to be on top of
everyone else. I’ve worked on Yu-Gi-Oh, and I’m pretty sure my competitive drive for success is greater
than anyone else in my community. However, within my community, it’s gotten
dull and boring. Believe it or not: Coming in Top 4 every week gets boring
after a while, and now I’m thirsty for more. This is one of the reasons why I’m
more willing to attend greater events (Regionals and related events). I want to
start crushing everyone I play against in any event I go to. If for some reason
I lose to someone, I will take the most out of the experience and apply it so
(hopefully) it doesn’t happen again.
If the above is true,
then why did I give that person the win on the weekend? Ultimately, I think it
just came down to me being nice, and feeling bad for defeating him. I can admit
with 100% certainty that letting him have the win was a moment of weakness on
my part: I let my emotions get the better of me, and that was that.
The Game of Life
I’m not exactly referring to that crappy board
game that was released years ago. For those that don’t know what I’m referring
to, it’s the game where you started as a character in school, then slowly
developed your character, and the end goal was to end up with as much money and
success as possible when retirement occurred. I recently had a thought that
related to this game, in reference to my competitive card career. Life is one
big game, and everything you do unfolds a new part of this game. Here’s a
simple and straight-forward example: I went out of my way to build Nekroz. If I
didn’t, then it wouldn’t have been an option for the OTS; I probably would’ve
played Burning Abyss or Qliphort. The fact that I obtained the deck unlocked
the part of the game where I used a Nekroz deck to fight my way through a
tournament.
I believe every
tournament, every match, and every game I play, will dictate the course of
action I follow through this “game”. As well, the preparation and deck-building
that occurs will dictate the course of action throughout the tournament. If I
had changed 1 card in my deck, by taking out something else instead of the 2nd
Clausolas for the 3rd Valkyrus I obtained, it could’ve change the
entire tournament, since that card would’ve been something else and had a
different effect on the games I played where I drew that card.
"If you can't win the game, if you can't
solve the puzzle, then you're nothing but a loser."
This quote comes from
the anime, Death Note. This expression came from the detective that inevitably
solved the murder case that the series revolved around, with the data from the
previous detective who died, and help from his acquaintance who discovered a
critical piece of the puzzle.
This expression is
nothing but true in my eyes. Flat out, if you don’t win, you lose. When I lost
to Burning Abyss this weekend, I lost. When I defeated my friend, and gave him
the win, I lost. You know what I realized about this weekend’s tournament? I
realized that this weekend, I was a loser. You know what’s worse? I openly
allowed myself to be a loser by giving up a win during the tournament. Quite
frankly, this behaviour is not acceptable. I know for a fact that I spent more
time preparing for this event than anyone. Throughout my life, I’ve realized that
(statistically) the people that work the hardest reap the benefits, usually. I
worked harder in preparation of this event, and I essentially tossed my reaped
benefits aside to help someone else. I defeated myself, and no positives came
out of it…
The conclusion
I was able to realize
how badly I screwed myself over by releasing a win that I worked hard to
deserve. I realized how strong my competitive drive is, and what happened this
weekend was completely against what my principles should be.
Here’s the final point
to take out of this: I will no longer let
anyone have the win, period. I don’t care who you are. If I defeat you, and
it’s the final match that will determine whether or not you get your invite, I
don’t care. If you defeat me, then I’m the loser, and I’ll accept it. If I
defeat you, then you are the loser, and you’ll have to accept it.
If I’m striving for
credentials, top results, and brownie points, then I can’t go easy on anyone. I
have no problem being a nice person, and friend, to those close to me. I enjoy
working with certain members of the community that I trust, to further increase
our strength as players. I also enjoy helping in any way I can, by lending out
cards, writing these helpful provides, and offering advice to those who ask. But
on the battlefield, everyone is an enemy, and whoever I play is the obstacle I
must destroy. This will take place anywhere; Locals or higher tier tournaments.
This is the way it has to be, if I will ever see success. This is the attitude
I suggest to those who want to see success of their own.
Let me know what you
readers think, and of course, thanks for reading!
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